For years, many brethren have allowed the facilities of local congregations to be used for the wedding ceremonies of members and their families. But with the recent Supreme Court decision that legalizes same-sex “marriage” across the country, many are concerned about what to do when a same-sex couple seeks to use the church building for their wedding ceremony. We need to figure out the appropriate (and Scriptural) response to give WHEN we receive an inquiry about using our building for these types of ceremonies. The Liberty church of Christ in Liberty, Missouri has already received such a request.
On June 26, 2015, in the Obergefell vs. Hodges case, the United States Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriages were a constitutional right. Eighteen days later, on July 14, our church secretary was visibly shaken when I came in the office. She had just ended a call with a lesbian asking if our church building would be available in October for their ceremony. That certainly didn’t take long. In this instance, it was not an activist looking to pick a fight. In fact, the caller did not even identify herself as a lesbian. However, perhaps by coincidence, our secretary recognized the name and number revealed on Caller ID. The young woman on the other end of the line was our secretary’s neighbor from three houses down. Her partner had once been a member of our congregation as a teenager and had been a close friend to one of our secretary’s daughters. So our secretary knew the domestic situation. Essentially, we side-stepped the matter. The date the couple wanted was already booked. The caller thanked our secretary and said that they were calling around to various venues to see what was available. If they discovered they had to change their date they might call back. Upon hanging up the phone our secretary immediately emailed all our elders seeking for guidance in how to handle the situation should the couple call back in the days ahead.1The article quoted above went on to describe how the congregation planned to respond. Because the “facilities are private property” and they had “not publicly promoted the availability of [their] facility and staff for such services as weddings… [they] are not obligated to let whoever wants to (regardless of the situation) use the building or contract with [the] staff. [They] can say no to whomever [they] wish without having to justify the answer.” Assuming their understanding of the law is correct (the author indicated that one of the elders is a civil law attorney), that would not keep the law from being changed in the future. What is legal now can easily become illegal if the wrong people get into power (or remain in power). Furthermore, even if a congregation has no “legal” obligation to host a same-sex ceremony, that would not keep a same-sex couple from suing a church for refusing to accommodate them when the congregation would accommodate a couple who has a Scriptural right to marry. Even with a favorable ruling in court, it would be an expensive legal battle for the church. However, instead of asking what our response should be when a same-sex couple seeks to use our church’s building for a wedding, we should go back a step further. What should our response be when any couple – even a man and woman who are both faithful Christians and eligible to marry one another – seeks to use our church’s building for a wedding? The fact of the matter is that there is no Bible authority to use the facilities and resources of a local church for the purpose of a social event like a wedding. The local church is “the pillar and support of the truth” (1 Timothy 3:15). The Lord’s church is a spiritual kingdom (John 18:36) and local churches are to do the work that the Lord gave them to do – evangelism (1 Thessalonians 1:8), edification (Ephesians 4:16), and limited benevolence (Romans 15:26). There is no authority for local churches to go beyond the work the Lord gave them to do (Matthew 7:21-23; Colossians 3:17). Weddings, on the other hand, are social events. They involve two people making a commitment to one another in a marriage relationship. Others attend to celebrate and witness that relationship. The fact that there may be Bible teaching about marriage does not change the fundamental reason why everyone is present. Consider what Tim Haile wrote in an article on this topic: “When church buildings are used for weddings, as is done in many places today, why are the people there? What were they invited to witness or participate in? In the Lord’s day, they were invited to participate in large, very social get-togethers. Weddings in the Bible involved more than God’s binding two people together as one flesh. Bible weddings always involved eating, drinking, merry-making and celebrating. Weddings (not God’s binding in marriage, but wedding ceremonies) are fundamentally non-religious in nature.”2 If we will be consistent about what the Bible teaches regarding the work of the church (that there is no Bible authority for churches to host social events like weddings), then we will not be accused of a perceived inconsistency (“discriminating” against same-sex couples). We must go back to what God has authorized regarding the work of the church and refuse to get the church involved in any social events – even weddings. [This article was published in the August 2015 issue of Banner of the Cross]
1 That didn’t take long: Lesbians seek church-building ceremony 2 Is It Lawful to Conduct Weddings and Funerals in the Church Building?
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